2a
One important global challenge
is human rights violations. The pictures below illustrate the ideas behind some
of the articles in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which are given
in the captions.
Choose any three of the
pictures. Write a text in which you reflect on the importance of the human
rights issues raised by the pictures you have chosen and discuss what the
message of each picture is and how effectively it conveys this message.
Human rights are fundamental rights of every human
being, regardless of race, gender, religion or other status. It is about the
right to have a life; security, freedom from torture, right to privacy, protection
against discrimination, freedom of religion, freedom of expression, the right
to work, health and welfare are just some of the rights. Different parts of the
world have different views on human rights. This means that some have several
human rights while others have few. In this text, I will talk about three
different types of human rights. The right of conscience, religion and freedom
of thought, the right of education and the right to protection from slavery and
servitude.
Everyone
has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion. This means you
have the freedom to change religion or belief and be able to express your
culture privately and in public.
This picture shows a group of people from Hong Kong demonstrating to support Edward Snowden, and demanding the government to let him go. Edward Snowden released many classified documents to show the people, when he worked for the NSA. The people in the picture have posters with words they want to convey. This is an example of the
right to say what you stand for. The picture conveys its message, but I think it would have gained a greater impression if one
saw more face expressions on the demonstrators.
Everyone have their own thoughts and beliefs, but in some parts of the world it is punishable to say your what you stand for. In Singapore and Ukraine it is actually illegal to hold
protests and demonstrations! In 2005 two young men from Iran, were hanged because they
were gay, each year many, especially women, are stoned to death and many others
are killed because they say or do something that goes against their ruler.
These are all extreme breaches on the human rights, but luckily, there are
several organisations and individuals working to put an end to it.
Everyone
has the right to education; yet, millions do not get the opportunity to educate
themselves. This results in poverty for many and it has become one of the largest
battles in the world, especially for girls and women.
I will say that this image delivers its message. Children
reading and writing are a normal sight for us, but for many the reality is that
they do not have or get an education. Many can’t even read or write. The world would have been a better place if children got a stable education from early stages of their lifes. Like Malala said "the pen is mightier than the sword!" Large parts of the world are suffering from lack of education. The
condition in Sub-Saharan Africa is critical, the numbers of children without
education is higher than any other place.
No one shall be held in slavery or servitude. This is
also a human right, and one of the big problems around the world. Whether it is
an individual being held captive and molested, or it is a group of people.
Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Human_rights&oldid=698457356
from http://snl.no/menneskerettigheter
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2013/10/17/this-map-shows-where-the-worlds-30-million-slaves-live-there-are-60000-in-the-u-s/
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2013/10/17/this-map-shows-where-the-worlds-30-million-slaves-live-there-are-60000-in-the-u-s/
This is the comment I took down when I first read the text:
SvarSlettContent: As I said, the last part is good because you give examples. In the first picture it is expected that Snowden and his story is mentioned – Malala would also be a good example of the right to education… adding more facts would aslo make the text longer. In addition, references to sources should also be inside the text, not just at the end.
Structure: Paragraphs follow the TRIT pattern and there is variation in the way they start. To improve, add some linking words both within and between paragraphs. Also remember that we skip only one line between paragraphs.
Language: Mostly well written. However, there are some concord and conjugation errors.
I can see that you have have added some facts and corrected some language issues - good!